the cracks on your smile make it impossible to decipher something legible

Yesterday was a pretty heavy day at work for me - and I'm not talking about the workload here. I got to witness first-hand, the emotional breakdown of a colleague 2 years my senior. She was talking about how she's been working late these past few days trying to meet a certain deadline. Her dad (I have a feeling) is not feeling very well, and yet he stayed up to wait for her to come home to eat dinner. However, she had to turn down his request as firstly, it was already very late (1 am) and she had already had dinner earlier at work. When she started talking about this, she finally broke down and the tears just flew out. My heart goes out to her.. it really does. I can only imagine what she's going through. This job, it takes so much out of you. It asks for so much from a person and I'm not sure it gives that much back in return. I wonder myself if I will be able to handle all the stress and responsibilities that are bound to come my way soon. Will I break down just like her too? Or will I come out of it a stronger person?

At the age of 23, I've finally learned to swallow tablets and capsules. Yes, pretty late I know. But better late than never right?

Anyway two nights ago I was having trouble sleeping at night. The stupid cough (which seems to be refusing to go away), the blocked nose and the sudden itchiness all over just didn't add up to a good night's sleep. If I wasn't tossing and turning trying to rid myself of the itch, I was coughing my lungs out or just plain trying to breathe. It wasn't until 6 in the morning that I feel into a proper sleep and what good did that do? I had to wake up less than 2 hours later.

I came into work at arnd 930 that morning and the first thing my colleagues asked me was if I was okay and why the hell did I come to work that day. Now days like these I really love my colleagues and I really like how flexible my work is. I tried to hang in there for as long as I could but by lunchtime my colleagues were practically shoving me out the door. Really feel blessed having such nice understanding colleagues.

Swallowed the doc's medicine and omg it seriously did wonders. The effects of the medicine kicked in immediately and I fell into such a deep sleep that I didn't even feel the need to scratch at all. WOW! Maybe I should have learned to take such medicine earlier on!

So many things to say... but think I might leave them for another day..

First post of 2009! Wow, what a year this past year has been. Yeah, yeah I know.. cliche and all that jazz. Whatever. This is my blog, I can say whatever I wanna say :)

I will always remember 2008 as THE YEAR THAT I DISCOVERED DAVID COOK. hehe.. What else can it be right? I can't believe that 9 months since I started fanatically googling up info abt this guy (since he started intriguing me after All Right Now), I'm still as obsessed as ever. (and yes I know my english is totally rubbish here. cut me some slack, it's 3 in the morning)

It's not just the voice. He truly has, what I believe, the whole package. Sure, it's the voice that grabs you first. And then the stage presence. And the good looks. And those CFM stares that make you feel like he's staring right at you. (which is crazy, considering he's on tv and also on the opposite side of the world) And when you think that you are liking him for all of the obvious reasons above, you get online and find out things about him that totally makes you melt and think that he's not real. Except that he is, and that more guys should be like him. Things like the lindsey rose wristband. How he's been wearing it every single fucking day since he made it into the top 12. Things like how he wants his relationship with his fans to be a two-way thing and not just make it all about him. How he still gets teary-eyed when he finds out things like making it to #1 on itunes. How he's such a family-oriented guy and his family values. How close he is to his brothers. How he has AC on his arms, his guitar, his jacket.. etc.. How A Daily AntheM actually spells out ADAM. How he helped Luke with his cancer treatment bills. And so many many more.

I wanted to listen to everything David Cook. There's just something about that voice.... I can listen to it all day. So all the live AI performances and studio recordings weren't enough. Sometime in April, I started listening to Analog Heart. I fell in love with Analog Heart, especially with his songwriting. I've never been a fan of a musician cos of his lyrics before. It's usually the melody that grabs me first. But david's songwriting.. is in a league of its own. He has a way of using big long words that you'd never think you'd hear in a song, and then making them sound so sexy. As if those words were meant to be used together. Like my fave lyrics of his ever from Porcelain *the cracks in your smile make it impossible to decipher something legible*. I don't even know what to make of that. The first time I heard it, I was floored. Literally floored. I had to pause the song, play it back and listen to it again to make sure I was hearing right. So many songs I love in Analog Heart, I really wish he could have released it before DCTR came out. My fave is "Makeover". Something about the melody in that song, and the way he sings it..

Then there was the whole AI tour. The Mavid Dances. The waiting around every other day for 3 freaking  months for the mavid videos to pop up online as soon as each venue was done. That was truly epic. I loved how he wasn't afraid to make fun of himself. In fact that is just another quality that I admire in him. Not many musicians are willing to do that. Plus all his appearances on Best Day/Week/Year Ever. The hairdresser skit. The armpit farts. All truly hilarious. :) Ahhh.. such good memories.

Sometime in June/July, I wanted to listen to more "new" music by DC. I use the word "new" very relatively here as it was new to me, not that the music was new. So I discovered that there was actually a whole lot of Axium music out there, considering that they've released about 3 independent studio albums plus a few live recordings. I figured I had about 4-5 months before DCTR was coming out, plus I didn't want to run out of good music. So I limited myself to about one album a month. I'd download an album starting with their latest one and listen to it non-stop for about a month. That way I got to know almost ALL the songs really well plus I had new music to last me til Nov. It made the waiting that much more bearable. :)

He released the first single of the album in September. Those few days online were pretty exciting, when he'd release little bits and pieces of information about the new single. First came the title, and then the lyrics, then the writers.. and finally when the single came out it was pretty much chaotic.

And then November came. Or should I say, Davember. Davember was such an exciting, yet tiring and exhausting month. It all kicked off with the SNL performance in which he debuted the band. I remember watching the cellcast at Rickey's for the first time ever.. with everyone else on the dash. I think everyone was really missing having him on their tv screens cos the dash had the most no of users ever online during the snl performance (surpassing the finale in may). We cheered him on when he did Light On. And then he debuted Declaration and everyone went crazy! I remember saying that if that was an indication of what the rest of the album was gonna sound like, then the album was prob gonna be awesome. (which it is!) hehe.. I remember how I couldn't get enough of Declaration, I just wanted to listen to it over and over and over again.

What else happened in Davember? All the appearances (DW gala, album release day etc), all the talk show interviews and performances, photoshoots surfacing, finally getting the CD, etc.. There were waaaay too many things to keep up with and I was sleeping at 2-3am every freaking night, trying to catch up with all the videos, pictures and new articles. There was a barrage of info and I'd be darned to miss any of it. It was a good time (and still is) to be a DC fan. :) I remember album release day here in Sg. It was so chaotic and exciting, what w some of the dashers being at PS and stalking the shop so that they'd get the cd the moment it came. How widz was keeping me up to date on what was happening and I was just relaying the info to those who were online and couldnt be out cos of work obligations. It was truly fantastic.

I love my peeps over at the defective halo club. I miss you  guys. :) I miss those late night silly conversations we have about all things Dave. If any of you are reading this, pls come back.

There are so many many more things I could say but to sum it all up - 2008 was David Cook's year. To me, at least. Of course I could say that I went to Perth and HK. I bought a car. I bought PS3 and Guitar Hero. But all these experiences pale in comparison to the passion that I feel for David Cook - the musician and the man. Here's to a fantastic 2009 and hoping that it'll be evern better than 2008. :)

Looks like I've not blogged for quite some time. Well, what's there to say huh?

Hmm.. work's been getting a little crazy lately. Not much time for distractions, which is good I guess. Bookings coming in left, right and center. As of right now, I do not have a single free slot on my booking schedule all the way til March. That's 6 solid months. I guess I should be thankful that people actually want me to work with them. haha.. It is a nice feeling, knowing that your efforts don't go unappreciated. Managed to build quite a good rapport with some of the seniors and managers I've worked with recently, I'm sure that will come in useful in the years to come. Hopefully this streak of good luck (or whatever it is) will continue for the rest of my career.

Speaking of which, I think the power of word of mouth is very powerful in the company. How is it that even my planner now refers to me as Mars, when our main form of communication is through formal emails?

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Ramadhan is here again, I can't believe it. A whole year has passed. I love this month cos it brings with it a sense of peace. Plus it gives the body a chance to detox. Fasting seems so much easier in Ramadhan than any other time of the year. It must be the collective fasting thing.

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DC-wise, nope, the fanaticism has not died down a SINGLE bit. haha! Still as obsessed, I still cling onto every single new bit of information, news about him. He amazes me more and more by the day. And the Mavid dances, those two guys.. *shakes head* They are probably the funniest two male contestants AI has ever had. How they are so comfortable in their own skins.. I love them! I love it that DC has managed to command so much respect from his management that they let him get away with doing almost anything he wishes. And I love it that MJ is always there to make sure things dont get too uptight, to keep things light. These two guys are just too adorable - I love their friendship.

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Got addicted to the Twilight series two weeks ago and I finished all 4 books in exactly 2 weeks. Not as impressive as my Harry Potter feat but then again, hardly anything can come close to the magical world that JK Rowling created. With that in mind, I'd have to say that Stephenie Meyer did a pretty amazing job creating the world of the Twilight series. Who could have guessed that I'd enjoy so much reading about vampires and werewolves? (team jacob FTW!) I can't wait for the movie to come out, but I have a feeling I'll be severely disappointed as it probably wont be able to match up to the perfect expectations I have in my mind.

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What a boring post. haha.. Nothing much to say I guess, except that I'm tired but I'm happy. :) I truly am happy, and that is something which even I find amazing. haha, ok run along now peeps. Nothing else to see here. :p

So.. I was at one of my clients' with the audit team, and suddenly someone asks, *eh when's our dnd ah?* and I immediately said *well, it was Oct last year*.. and it just hit me. It's ALREADY july. it's only 2 more months to october. that's pretty damn soon. I can't believe I've been working for a year already. Time sure flies by.

It's been barely a week into the second year and I'm starting to feel the load of the heavier responsibilities already. Seniors are calling left, right and center asking if I'm willing to do this/that job. I guess I can safely say that my honeymoon is gonna be over pretty soon. I've been very blessed this past year, to have landed the jobs that I had. Great working hours, wonderful people to work with..  *thus earning my slack status* I was one of the lucky few I guess. Until now I have yet to experience the horrors of audit, although I've heard countless horror stories from my colleagues. Guess I'll be exposed to a few situations in the coming year. 

I'm been booked back on most of my big jobs, so I guess that is a good thing. Experience is always a good thing. I really gotta work on my client relationship. I have a lot to learn, still.

Friday also made me realise how productive I can be when I'm not distracted by DC. I've always been efficient I guess, just that along the way, I got a little distracted. haha.. Shall work on that, for now.

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DC-wise, the fanaticism has not died down at all. So much for thinking it'll die when AI ends. In fact, I think it's worse than ever now. He's getting pretty regular airplay on the radios here with ABMB and TOML and I can't help but smile each time I hear him on the radio, cos it reminds me of how far he has come, within a span of a few months. And I can't help but feel proud of him and knowing that I've been supporting him ever since he was not even the frontrunner in AI. I remember showing youtube vids of his performances to everyone (who would refuse to watch) ahahaha.. I believed in him then and I still believe in him now. 

*I see your face in every single I do.. you change me* - The Truth, David Cook

How true is that. The littlest things will remind me of DC. Things people say, things people do.. I've got it really really bad I guess.

(and by the way, if anyone wanna listen to Analog Heart, feel free to ask from me. I'm willing to distribute it to anyone who's willing to listen. And why wouldn't you want to? It's awesome!!!)

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One more thing I need to work on - Time Management! I think I should start drafting a timetable to follow so I can start studying for my CFA. I am seriously neglecting that. Someone pls motivate me to study!!! Study buddy, anyone?

You can't just act as if nothing happened. Acknowledge it, damnit!

"Where did you hide yourself
For these searchlights are growing dim
I know this isn't much to recollect
Better now to close this puppet show
And say that it's the end"

Until then, don't expect me to try and be more friendly.

"You made me fall forever
With no end in sight
When everything around is broken
Could you say that this felt right?"

something really funny happened today.

as i was packing up to leave the office, i received a call from my bro.
he had apparently locked his car keys in the boot!
hahahahaha i think i laughed for about 5 mins thinking about the ridiculousness of that situation.

so yeah i had to cab to west coast macs so that i could unlock the boot and get the car started. -_-
thank goodness i carry my car keys around all the time.

anyway, applications are open for the uk n aussie ca program.

still thinking if i should even apply. what are the chances?

and do i really want to go?